Keeping it Real...

I need to vent about a simple principle that seems to be lost on us people today and I just don't understand why...

Why is it so hard for us to say what we mean and mean what we say?

I find that...(and I know I have done this too) we have a tendency to say what we think sounds good or appropriate at that moment...but in actuality there is really no conviction in what we say...why do we do this?

I find it strange...see this is how I see it...now I'm not talking about secular relationships here i.e. bosses...in-laws...weird strangers...no in these situations you must say and do what ever is necessary to survive the moment... what I'm talking about are those lucky duckies we call our friends...lovers...partners...etc...the people we have supposedly allowed into our 'circle of trust'...( I hated the movie meet the parents...but this line was profound to me)...if we have allowed them to become a permanent part of our lives why do we fear them in this way...yes it can only be called fear because we are not able to stand strong and be truly sincere and honest because we think we are going hurt their feelings or that we may cause what we consider an un-necessary friction...but doesn't that mean that the foundation of that relationship is based on bullshit? Do we not have the confidence that we can have an all out fight but at the end of the day we know we will still be making love, or drinking our chai and laughing at the fool at the table next to us? Can it be true that relationships of the modern day are built on houses of cards, that can fold if the wind shifts?

I find this all very confusing...maybe it goes back to my black and white thinking...but I just cant understand what the hell all the games are for...if you like me tell me you like me...why you gotta play...if you don't like me just say bugger off...and mixed signals what the fuck is that? I mean bloody well know your mind and shoot straight...

I'm sorry folks I was not born to be a diplomat...no I am guerrilla trench fighting say it how it is wonderfully colourful diva who just ain't got patience for double talking bozos

You see I've realized that every word we write say or read has an intention and a karma behind it...as I believe Rudyard Kipling so poignantly put it for me...'Words are the most powerful drug used by mankind..."and it's true...we use them to manipulate and educate and fabricate...and I have become so very aware of what I am saying and with what purpose...I know I have used my words to manipulate...and I'm not proud of that and to be quite honest I wasn't even aware consciously that, that was my intention...but I do now...and I know that words that are not originated from true sincerity have no value or meaning and in actuality the thoughts and feelings that were trying to convey will ultimately be lost because they were not real.

Anyways the point is lets us all try to be a bit more aware of the intention behind our words...because when we misuse them...they have a tendency to cause heartache and mistrust and sometimes the destruction of the relationship that you were originally trying so hard to attain...

I know this because I've done it...so dont do it...the feeling sucks!