Is there such a thing as Soul mates? I mean do you really think it is possible to truly make a connection at the most unconditional and pure state, where a man and woman bond and unify in a way that tracendes what seems to be the here and now. I don't know, I think maybe it is possible, but I think in order to feel that, you would have to completely let go of your boundaries and bare the essential core of yourself and HELL that's damn scary...
But just thinking about it makes me feel free, wouldn't it be so completely liberating?? To be so completely insych with a person, to know that what you like they will like, to be so unafraid to say what ever you feel, want and desire and know there will be no judgement? Just to be so connected?
But who am I kidding....It's not that simple is it?
I mean lets look at it from a rational and logical point of view, when we meet a person that we are attracted to the intial infatuation has a way of blinding us to the reality of a situation, everything it so beautiful and intoxicating, the intensity that feel with seems to be more profound than the cracks in the foundation of what is developing, I mean what we are feeling can with stand it all, because well...we have never felt this way before, so it to be real right?
And so we kiss, we talk romantic, we make plans, we believe in forever. But after the euphoria of the intial oragasms have past and the mind has once again becomes lucid we start to use the practical mind and althou we there is so much that is right, all of a sudden those cracks in the foundation don't seem so miniscule anymore and they begin to corrode the relationship...
We start scrutinizing the family, the religion, the community, the history, the money, the sex, the body, the values and principles and we start to question will this person be the best suited partner I need in order to build the empire of my life with rather than a family with...and that, saddens me...
I mean lets face it in our world today, relationships and marriages aren't built to last the way they used to be, where highschool sweethearts married, and are now on to their 40th wedding aniversary, where are those brick house type relationships today? I mean they could scream like banshees, threaten death and cause mayhem because someone no matter what a love hate relationship they had they would stick it out because somehow life would seem incomplete without their partner, hmmmm, maybe that is what true love is, maybe that is what makes a soul mate...the one you can make it work even when you don't think it can work, the one you will hate but love with the same intensity, the one you want to throw your chappal at and it makes you cry because it actually hit them and hurt them. Maybe soul mates are the ones you are able to live both sides of the coin with and at the end of day still want to make love to them.
But in truth I have not experienced that, so for me it is all beautiful myth I believe in to give me hope. I mean I have been married, I have been in love exactly 3 times (including my husband), each being a completely experience than the other but just as memorable. I have been infactuated innumerable times and lust and I have become good friends....But I have yet to meet a man who can move me and love me and understand me the way I need to be understood. I have yet to meet a man I inspire forever in and a man who makes me forget my fear of forever with.
And in truth I am so tired of it and the thought of giving my freedom up now to become the partner of a man who feels that I meet enough of the criteria on his checklist or someone who is just settling because well they feel it is time, makes me very unhappy, so I have decided that I am going to watch the dating scene from a safe distance, because I have observed that people have a hard time investing themselves and their time into one person, it would seem that there is always that lingering thought what if there is something better, what if she isn't the one...
And to be quite honest I dont know how to wrap my head around the games we are suppose to play. I have heard so much advise and have been drilled with these obscure rules as to how you are suppose to manipulate a man into wanting in you...I think it s bloody insane
What is it they say? It's all about the chase...and the thrill...you shouldnt be so open and wear your heart on your sleeve...be mysterious...blah...blah...blah...I mean if we have to play so many games then how can the connection we are hoping to make possibly be based on anything real or honest...I am too old for games and too my mind is too full to remember all the rules. All I ask for is something real, true, honest and pure.
I know who I am and I know how I am...and I know that should I find the right person...they will be rather pleased.. and maybe I'm different and believe that if my 'Soul mate' is real and does in fact exists, I won't have to play all these games...He will find me and he will recognize me and love me...Because I truly and passionately believe that ultimate love is simple...uncomplicated and liberating...
But then again maybe I'm just a sucker...
But just thinking about it makes me feel free, wouldn't it be so completely liberating?? To be so completely insych with a person, to know that what you like they will like, to be so unafraid to say what ever you feel, want and desire and know there will be no judgement? Just to be so connected?
But who am I kidding....It's not that simple is it?
I mean lets look at it from a rational and logical point of view, when we meet a person that we are attracted to the intial infatuation has a way of blinding us to the reality of a situation, everything it so beautiful and intoxicating, the intensity that feel with seems to be more profound than the cracks in the foundation of what is developing, I mean what we are feeling can with stand it all, because well...we have never felt this way before, so it to be real right?
And so we kiss, we talk romantic, we make plans, we believe in forever. But after the euphoria of the intial oragasms have past and the mind has once again becomes lucid we start to use the practical mind and althou we there is so much that is right, all of a sudden those cracks in the foundation don't seem so miniscule anymore and they begin to corrode the relationship...
We start scrutinizing the family, the religion, the community, the history, the money, the sex, the body, the values and principles and we start to question will this person be the best suited partner I need in order to build the empire of my life with rather than a family with...and that, saddens me...
I mean lets face it in our world today, relationships and marriages aren't built to last the way they used to be, where highschool sweethearts married, and are now on to their 40th wedding aniversary, where are those brick house type relationships today? I mean they could scream like banshees, threaten death and cause mayhem because someone no matter what a love hate relationship they had they would stick it out because somehow life would seem incomplete without their partner, hmmmm, maybe that is what true love is, maybe that is what makes a soul mate...the one you can make it work even when you don't think it can work, the one you will hate but love with the same intensity, the one you want to throw your chappal at and it makes you cry because it actually hit them and hurt them. Maybe soul mates are the ones you are able to live both sides of the coin with and at the end of day still want to make love to them.
But in truth I have not experienced that, so for me it is all beautiful myth I believe in to give me hope. I mean I have been married, I have been in love exactly 3 times (including my husband), each being a completely experience than the other but just as memorable. I have been infactuated innumerable times and lust and I have become good friends....But I have yet to meet a man who can move me and love me and understand me the way I need to be understood. I have yet to meet a man I inspire forever in and a man who makes me forget my fear of forever with.
And in truth I am so tired of it and the thought of giving my freedom up now to become the partner of a man who feels that I meet enough of the criteria on his checklist or someone who is just settling because well they feel it is time, makes me very unhappy, so I have decided that I am going to watch the dating scene from a safe distance, because I have observed that people have a hard time investing themselves and their time into one person, it would seem that there is always that lingering thought what if there is something better, what if she isn't the one...
And to be quite honest I dont know how to wrap my head around the games we are suppose to play. I have heard so much advise and have been drilled with these obscure rules as to how you are suppose to manipulate a man into wanting in you...I think it s bloody insane
What is it they say? It's all about the chase...and the thrill...you shouldnt be so open and wear your heart on your sleeve...be mysterious...blah...blah...blah...I mean if we have to play so many games then how can the connection we are hoping to make possibly be based on anything real or honest...I am too old for games and too my mind is too full to remember all the rules. All I ask for is something real, true, honest and pure.
I know who I am and I know how I am...and I know that should I find the right person...they will be rather pleased.. and maybe I'm different and believe that if my 'Soul mate' is real and does in fact exists, I won't have to play all these games...He will find me and he will recognize me and love me...Because I truly and passionately believe that ultimate love is simple...uncomplicated and liberating...
But then again maybe I'm just a sucker...
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