I swear to God, I don't do it on purpose...Really sincerely I don't. I don't even go looking for anyone, they just seem to find me, they say it is something about my smile, about my face....
WHAT THE HELL DOES THIS FACE OF MINE SAY??
I thought I finally had found a calm in my life...I have closed the chapter on my marriage, I feel like I am 95% over Sunny, I am feeling good about the direction of my life. And then like a bloody brick from the sky, comes along Mr Kabul 2009....WTF?!
Centeral Asian from Kabul, Ismaili, 6'2 (OMFG!), light curly hair, dimples to cry for, 30 and sweet and I have no idea how he found me, except that he found me on facebook lol, and people scoff at the networking site...ha I say to them, see it has it's benefits....;)
I love the attention don't get me wrong, but sincerely I don't want complications right now, and I say this each and every time and each and every time the situation gets complicated. FUCK!
Why is that when we were in highschool it was so easy for guys and girls to be mates, just mates? And now in our 3o's we all of sudden blur all the lines? Is it that now that we are older we are more sexual? bolder? freer? confident? Where have all the inhibitions that use to control us as kids disappeared to?
The days where we could flirt and hug and not have to worry about all the complicated stuff like, love, and relationships and the physical lust (althou I can't lie, I like that part). Hmmmm....and I thought being a teen was complicated and too much fun, but in truth I think being a grown up stuck in this maze is actually althou infuriating is actually rather exciting as well....I know I know, I sound confused, but so what I am. That is the best part about reinventing one's self, you get to think and sort and figure and try all types of thoughts, ideas, values and good times....I must say there have been days where I have wondered what being me was about, but never can I say that I have truly regreted being exactly who I am. Now Fuck Me and tell me how many people can actually say that huh???
Ok so back to Mr. Kabul...hmmm...he is new, let's see if he lasts a week, the beginning is always fun, it's like the challenge of putting a puzzle together, where do the pieces go, how do they fit, what is the final image going to look like....I like this part the best lol....
But I have this rule, it's my one week rule. If a man can last a week, then he has hope of being amusing, if he lasts more than 2 weeks he is growing on me...If he lasts a month, he is officially my friend, and then after that anything is possible na?
Oh bloody hell, why is that all of a sudden I miss Azie? NO NO NO NO! I don't it like when someone new does something like someone old and then all of a sudden you are thinking about the someone old when all you should be doing is setting fire to the memory of that someone old! Sigh...I think the hardest part of getting over the people from our past is the sensations they have left within us, the residue of the way they were, what made them unique to you, the little quirks they had that made them special to you.....but it all fades, everything in life with enough time, fades.....
WHAT THE HELL DOES THIS FACE OF MINE SAY??
I thought I finally had found a calm in my life...I have closed the chapter on my marriage, I feel like I am 95% over Sunny, I am feeling good about the direction of my life. And then like a bloody brick from the sky, comes along Mr Kabul 2009....WTF?!
Centeral Asian from Kabul, Ismaili, 6'2 (OMFG!), light curly hair, dimples to cry for, 30 and sweet and I have no idea how he found me, except that he found me on facebook lol, and people scoff at the networking site...ha I say to them, see it has it's benefits....;)
I love the attention don't get me wrong, but sincerely I don't want complications right now, and I say this each and every time and each and every time the situation gets complicated. FUCK!
Why is that when we were in highschool it was so easy for guys and girls to be mates, just mates? And now in our 3o's we all of sudden blur all the lines? Is it that now that we are older we are more sexual? bolder? freer? confident? Where have all the inhibitions that use to control us as kids disappeared to?
The days where we could flirt and hug and not have to worry about all the complicated stuff like, love, and relationships and the physical lust (althou I can't lie, I like that part). Hmmmm....and I thought being a teen was complicated and too much fun, but in truth I think being a grown up stuck in this maze is actually althou infuriating is actually rather exciting as well....I know I know, I sound confused, but so what I am. That is the best part about reinventing one's self, you get to think and sort and figure and try all types of thoughts, ideas, values and good times....I must say there have been days where I have wondered what being me was about, but never can I say that I have truly regreted being exactly who I am. Now Fuck Me and tell me how many people can actually say that huh???
Ok so back to Mr. Kabul...hmmm...he is new, let's see if he lasts a week, the beginning is always fun, it's like the challenge of putting a puzzle together, where do the pieces go, how do they fit, what is the final image going to look like....I like this part the best lol....
But I have this rule, it's my one week rule. If a man can last a week, then he has hope of being amusing, if he lasts more than 2 weeks he is growing on me...If he lasts a month, he is officially my friend, and then after that anything is possible na?
Oh bloody hell, why is that all of a sudden I miss Azie? NO NO NO NO! I don't it like when someone new does something like someone old and then all of a sudden you are thinking about the someone old when all you should be doing is setting fire to the memory of that someone old! Sigh...I think the hardest part of getting over the people from our past is the sensations they have left within us, the residue of the way they were, what made them unique to you, the little quirks they had that made them special to you.....but it all fades, everything in life with enough time, fades.....
Gals gals gals!
ReplyDeletei know eh?
ReplyDeletearen't we perfect??