There are so many thoughts and emotions blazing thru my head, and I am trying to make sense of it all…Oh no no, there is no drama to detail, it is merely the journey of life that has me riding the rollercoaster of hopes and dreams, but this time I am going to ride this rush hands free!!
I see with clarity the rays of happiness peaking thru those ever looming grey clouds of fear and confusion, and what I have learnt is that happiness will not be served with white gloves on a silver platter…No happiness is not an emotion we should expect or even demand that we have a right to…it is state a of being that must be molded and sculpted and designed, it takes perseverance and hope to encompass this realm of contentment in our lives…
Look, we are faced with decisions every single day as to how we choose to perceive the storyline of our life, we can either wallow in all that has been shitty and unjustifiable in our lives and cry in our coffees every morning, or we can break the cycle and free ourselves from the shackles of pain and allow those bleeding wounds to heal and scar and wear them as marks of the brave warriors of life that we are…This is a choice, it is not something that just should be…
And happiness can be found so easily, if we just allow ourselves to see with our heart eyes. A good friend once told me that to change your life, it takes exactly one moment…That moment you decide to make it different…It may take time to make that choice a reality, because all good things take effort, but your life changes the moment you alter your perspective on the situation…And this the hugest lesson I have learnt in the last 2 months…
As I have experienced all the what if's start running thru the mind at the speed of the autobahn, and you know when you aren't used to believing in this state of optimism, it can be uncomfortable and un-nerving and at times down right frightening. I mean allowing yourself to be happy means you have to invest in that hope and belief that there is joy left in the world and that I am allowed to part take in that joy freely and completely and that acceptance of this fact and the investment of oneself in this hope is one of the most difficult and terrifying things to do. But it is also without a doubt also one of the most exhilarating and satisfying…
But this is not a self realized epiphany that I have experienced…No I have had a fellow traveler on this path and I do truly believe I have found my very own guardian angel who has walked thru fire and on broken glass for me and with me….and with such unconditionality that they can be nothing less than an angel…
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