Somehow at 34 I am still in a process of personal evolution, shouldn't I already be established in a rewarding career with a husband to warm my bed and 3 children and 2 dogs in a 5 bedroom home by now?? Instead I am a single mom, who has now returned back to university as a full time student, competing with kids as young as 17 for a spot in the B.BA program.....I live at home with my parents and I have yet to establish anything permanent in my life.....What can I possibly teach the world? I can barely get my child to learn her words of the week.
All I have to offer are my bumbling attempts at sorting out who I am, after uncountable crash and burns. Maybe some of the lessons will resonate, and Insha'allah make the lessons a little less painful for those reading and relating, it always eases the burden a bit knowing that we aren't alone....
Every single day, I feel like I am changing but yet I feel so stagnant. I am facing some of the greatest changes I have ever faced, but yet, then why do I feel like my feet are stuck in cement in other aspects? Am I being stubborn? Am I stuck because I have yet to learn the teaching that comes with the situations?
But despite these contradictions, I feel soo ALIVE, my mind is flourishing, my spirit is soaring, I am madly in love with my child and life....but at the core there is this solitude, this emptiness.....I feel like such an oxymoron!
